the4thday

untitled

2008-09-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

very tranny!

Bert sulking

auntie element; notice the eyebrows!

desperate&failed attempt to take a picture of us&the yummy yummy food!

my abnormal face and Bert's normal face. HEHE!

normal face aka zhen chang lian photo(=

dead blog!
dead dead dead!

haven't had much time or energy and even mood to blog actually.
almost every single day is spent working, the only time where i can do absolutely nothing are sundays.i love sundays(=

anyhoo!now that im in the mood to blog i think it's about time this blog revived.hehe
16/9; met up with my only existing member in the now defunct 38 club.

really took our time to talk about everything under the sun, well obviously we did gossip as well.haha(=

had our dinner at sushi tei at vivocity,
everything we had was delectable!paying extra few dollars more we got bigger portions and better food, it is a lot more worth it if you compare sushi tei and sakae sushi considering that sakae prices have risen with shrinking portions.you pretty get a good deal!

after dinner we went to shop, we both bought pants at $60. he bought a pair of white washed jeans from pull&bear and i bought a pair of black pants at the pasar malam, its not a brand!haha(=

afterwards we headed to holland and chilled til the wee hours, i slept barely 2 hours before i had to get up and go to my day job.
i hope we can do this more often my dearest bert!(=
love you!

2008-07-08T08:51:00.000-07:00

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Nelson Mandela

started my first day at my second job at St. James Power Station last friday;

with MATTHEW!taiwan team memberz

anyhoo, we're in charge of 3 outlets; the Boiler Room, Peppermint Park&Lobby (WHICH IS A STUPID SPORTS BAR.HAHAHA)

rushed down from Ikea after finishing my 8am-530pm met matthew&zhiwei/weizhi then headed down to St.James.

Ended work at 4am, debrief then took company transport to clementi avenue 4 to eat bak chor mee and siew mai/mai siew.HAHAHA(:

cabbed home cos if I tried to walk another step my legs were going to break.

uncle charged me $4 instead of $4.50 cos maybe he see me chio.

HAHHA(X

reached home,showered then discovered there was an ogre sleeping on my bed, so I went to sleep at the sofa.which is damn comfortable I don't know why.Either that or I was too tired to care.then the next thing I remember was Honey saying Hi 你好(:

Saturday/Sunday

Started work at St James at 9pm all the way to 4am.my second day was at peppermint park; a alfresco dining&bar which was really pretty.the weather was humid, we were like mua chee without peanuts.usual bak chor mee routine then headed home to remove make up and shower then went to do Ikea A shift.zombie!I tried my best to stay chirpy and bright.But I was really grumpy and tired inside.

Monday

Ikea cafe 8am-530pm

woke up at 8am, called and said I would be late):

reached at 930

HURHUR, luckily cheewee is bias so I didn't get any nagging.

Tuesday

Ikea Cafe 8-530pm

woke up at 730am, cabbed down but still late.

auntie winnie called up at 805; she doesn't people to be late for work.spider!

my 10 dollars busted):

shucks!

After work, spent another heap of money on mascara, make up remover&a pimple cream which yq already has!$38 frikkin plus dollars.

im a broke kid.

donate please!

details for this donation, please pm me.

HAHAHA(:

like real!

Baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting. - Wait for you; Elliot Yamin

LOVE Y'ALL!

and you a bit more.

2008-07-03T00:20:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 weeks since I've been away from home.
Thank God, for giving me a home away from home.
(:
Been really moody these few days.
Today's the worst, was almost on the verge of tears of every single thing I saw that reminded me of my babies.I miss them the most.

I won't live a life of regret.

2008-06-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

I know you'd read this, maybe not today.But,eventually.
My reply to your email probably hurt to read a second time; typing that email did do more damage to me than it would ever do to you.
You didn't know how it affected me, beacause you probably could'nt care less.
You gave up on us first.
I sort of knew you would; too much pride to swallow to make a first move and all so much easier to say goodbye and leave what we had behind.

Looks like you've found yourself a replacement.

☺
"Goodbye To You"
Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,
[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right
[Chorus]
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
[Chorus x2]
And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

with you.

2008-06-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

ahnee,太阳饼姐姐,elaine,gi siang, smelly ah lian.

my rebonded hair makes my face look like 太阳饼):

comparatively near a size of a frisbee, omg.

this is very demoralizing, makes me question the point of being alive,
not.im too happy to die right now.

anyhoo!

this week's has gone on to a good start,

a good two days of the week;

monday's been (:

tuesday's been fun; welcome ah huay, gi siang&elaine to work.

my gp is finally done.

there's probably nothing left on my mind now to do;

just wanna be able to adjust my working schedule with auntie winnie than I'm sure everything would be all good!

tempted to get a new phone; instead of a camera.

something like the samsung soul would be good!

haha(:

♥
You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.
And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you.

AHNEE(:

2008-06-11T11:40:00.000-07:00

just cause.

i saw this coming, still i don't know why i let you in.

2008-06-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

"unconditional love does not equal to unconditional approval."- christopher yuan

Define not&ready:

not
adverb.
In no way; to no degree. Used to express negation, denial, refusal, or prohibition:
eg: I will not go, You may not have any.

read·y
ˈrɛdi/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[red-ee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, read·i·er, read·i·est, verb, read·ied, read·y·ing, noun, interjection
–adjective
1.
completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or use: troops ready for battle; Dinner is ready.
2.
duly equipped, completed, adjusted, or arranged, as for an occasion or purpose: The mechanic called to say that the car is ready.
3.
willing: ready to forgive.
4.
prompt or quick in perceiving, comprehending, speaking, writing, etc.
5.
proceeding from or showing such quickness: a ready reply.
6.
prompt or quick in action, performance, manifestation, etc.: a keen mind and ready wit.
7.
inclined; disposed; apt: too ready to criticize others.
8.
in such a condition as to be imminent; likely at any moment: a tree ready to fall.
9.
immediately available for use: a ready source of cash.
10.
pertaining to prompt payment.
11.
present or convenient: to lie ready to one's hand. –verb (used with object)
12.
to make ready; prepare. –noun
13.
the state or condition of being ready.
14.
Informal. ready money; cash. –interjection
15.
(used in calling the start of a race to indicate that racers should be prepared to start): Ready! Set! Go! —Idioms
16.
at the ready, in a condition of readiness, available for immediate use: shoppers with their umbrellas at the ready; soldiers keeping their weapons at the ready.
17.
get ready! (in calling the start of a race) be prepared to start: Get ready! Get set! Go!
18.
make ready,
a.
to bring to a state of readiness or completion; prepare.
b.
Printing. to ready a press for printing.
19.
ready up, British and Australian Slang. to swindle.
[Origin: 1150–1200; ME redy, early ME rædig, equiv. to OE rǣde prompt + -ig -y1]
—Synonyms 1. fit, set. 3. agreeable, glad, happy. 4. alert, acute, sharp, keen, adroit, facile, clever, skillful, nimble, adaptable.
—Antonyms 1. unfit. 3. unwilling.
—Usage note See already.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Define not ready:

In no way; To no degree + completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or use.

yeah, okay.
so this is what not ready is suppose to mean?

2008-05-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

I miss blogging so much!
I have a life you would kill for!(X
hawhaw, as if.it's a bathesleepwakeupgetbusygotoworkfinishworkandcomehome
then the same routine the next day, if im lucky enough, I wouldn't have to work 2 days in a row.
I don't have time for anything else; sigh.
spent my off day, thursday, and went shopping with muni but didn't even get anything.so much for gss.great my ass.probably because zara isn't on sale yet!and my dress which i wanted to get from pull&bear is sold out): this sucks.

Already have my June schedule.which is quite packed, doing opening shift like thrice!yay after I familiarize myself with it I shall request more morning shifts, to avoid quarrels with mama.since I will be doing my degree this coming October no point looking for another job, plus the trip would take up a week, Ikea cafe is more flexible for shifting, really hope mama can see that.Its really hard to talk to her, when she doesn't listen and keeps shouting at me, and I don't want to argue because it will just make things worse.hope by showing I care for the family will make her not so mad at me all the time, everything will be better once carmelita comes...

Nat Ho came to buy hotdogs today!His SO FRIKKIN CUTE SHIT!
working this weekend.sigh

63 days.

craving.

2008-05-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

i want to eat popeye's chicken and biscuits's coleslaw!

2008-05-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

short meet up with stefanie, the ~~tai~~ taiwan mei mei today.

we went to watch what happens in vegas which I kind of didn't want to at first,

but I really enjoyed it!It's been a long time since I've watch a comedy/romance movie(:

made me laugh a lot and smiled alot.

ashton kutcher is like how CUTE.

there's a part of the show, where joy(cameron diaz)&jack(ashton kutcher) had a moment.

it reminded me the moment, which i sworn happened.

and it made me miss him alot.

oh well(:

memories for old times sake.

2008-05-21T01:49:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda hooked on typing in the largest font size on blogger, it just looks nice.somehow.
I feel so much better after I tell the people I love what I needed them to know before it's all too late.Keeping it inside is driving me insane, i just had to release it.
No, they don't understand now, but they would... soon enough.
right now, for me, life is but a fascimile of a sham.
the inside isn't right with the outside and the outside isn't reflecting my inside.
oh well, whatever.

There's so many shows I want to catch!
like;
~~what happens in Vegas~~ watching it with stefanie tomorrow!(:
accuracy of death
drillbit taylor
sex and the city: the movie
the chronicles of narnia: prince caspian
get smart
you don't mess with the zohan
10 promises to my dog
and like duh of course, harry potter and the half-blood prince!

I NEED MONEY!
seriously starting to save up for my taipei trip, even thinking of opening a savings account with dbs to help me save the amount of money I need from now to august I still have 3 months which isn't very far away!plus the 300 dollars mama gave me, would be roughly enough for my air tickets.I may just work everyday if I have to.

feel like I've grown up quite a bit this year.
this trip will be my first trip alone, im really excited.
yet scared at the same time.
im sure I will have fun though!
anyone interested in going on this trip along with me, please tag(:

2008-05-21T01:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Jayne,
this is a post entirely dedicated to jayne tham hew kuan.
I don't envy your life in secret I always tell you how much I would like to be you, which makes you think im crazy.we haven't met for 64783936 years which is absolutely insane because every time I bump into you which makes me smile a lot and we hug each other like it's old times.We should meet up soon and spy on cute guys at orchard road like we use to.
LOVE YOU ALL THE SAME thambi!omg do you remember sammy's curry?haha.

out

2008-05-20T01:45:00.000-07:00

milestone!

i just made my friend think im a emotional wreck with the things i say to him.

i hope i made him worried sick, but he probably is not.it seems more like he couldn't care less.

i just wanted to say the things i want them to know before any of our friendship is gone and chances that we would eventually stop talking altogether, just exactly the direction where it's going right now.

no im not dying, i just feel that the people who i thought got my back suddenly make me feel like oh so vulnerable;

if i was to fall i would fall hard and crack my head, break my spine, bleeding uncontrollably.they would squat and watch how i would bleed to death and then mumble under their breathe:" what a pity."

the people i love seem to be drawing away from me, i feel distant and forgotten by people i thought i knew and understand.no one could argue that i did not make that extra effort.but enough is enough.

many times im annoyed at myself for repeating the same things&telling people around me the same things and when i do:

every time i make the same mental note,:

"不是说好了不再讲了."

i just can't help it.once again,im at it.

i feel like an oyster.raw&inhibited with things you never see on the outside and never want to see on the inside.

i confess,im insecure,im lacking.

so let me apologise for what im about to say;

tan jian ming:wonder boy; extraordinaire; you made me cried&you made me laugh so hard that I cried.you're so precious,you cannot be replaced.I miss the late night phone calls and the random messages we use to send to each other.look where we are at now my friend, we've grown from being juvenile 13 year olds to almost reaching adulthood.we had this bittersweet friendship going on for 6 long years.you're hard to forget.keep my words close to your heart, because every single word came from mine.yes, im irritating right?

tan jie xin: i was 16 and you were 17.we hit it off almost immediately.we formed a friendship that is so close knitted it's scary.but i enjoy the creepiness of it, because it's diabetic.you made me a promise and i hold on to it.we're going to complete every single thing we made on our to do list.i wait for the day when we cut the ribbons at the opening ceremony of our first shop.

tan weihong: 4 years ago, I would have honestly have no idea that we would even be this close.I've given you the most names, weihong is a strange and alien name to me.I've done the silliest things i could ever imagine, in my wildest dreams with you, for you.we lived in our own world of make believe, decipher dreams, talked about our fragile selves dying, saying things only the both of us could understand, whatever we did, we did it in the name of fun, which was really fun.there's many things I ~~would~~might like to say to you.but somehow we're different now, no?your secret is safe with me.you made me smile a lot, so thank you dee.

ong su chiang: mister no dance=no life (: I haven't seen you in the longest time!glad you made it to nra.hope you'll make it big, and I'll be able to watch you on stage someday.all the best fishmonger.

tan tiong kiat: thank you,for your big heart for fostering those kittens.and thank you for the occasional: "how are you?" on msn to show that im not forgotten.

cavan: you are like a toy boy.i miss molesting you in class.

goh kar hui: come back please, ah huay.you are dearly missed.

i hope its big enough for them to see.

even if they have bird shit in their eye, its going to be quite clear.

zzmy.

2008-05-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

so cute my new skin!(:
there's even smudges to make it look like a real diary!hoho

worked half the day away today, then met family for dinner &mama was busy taking my photo while i was working which was super embarrassing.hoho today went by real quickly.
after work my legs were jelloid, and my spine is breaking.i was in bed by 10pm but couldn't resist switching on my lappy i don't know why, so here i am still updating at 1251 bright and early on vesak day.habits are easy to form but hard to break i guess.i ought to sleep though, i could feel a headache coming on...
the crowds are ikea today were crazy, the number of hotdogs that they bought were as if ikea were giving them out for free.madness i tell you.
going to work tomorrow again.zzz):
money money, for the sake of spending money like water, i work.planning for that job switch soon!nas the OL is going to be sexy as hell.HAHA XD

while i switched on the radio, a petal from my sunflower fell):
for that moment i was really sad;cos it felt like it hurt the poor flower, i was feeling such intense emotion to the point where i genuinely think im mentally deranged, oh well at least it served its purpose and make him happy for awhile(:
guess tomorrow's going to be the day i behead him and dry the flower up to be sunflower crisp.

WORK STARTS AT 5PM TOMORROW!

don't love money, cos it won't love you back

2008-05-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

my bear player is very cute, i wonder if he got cramps for bobbing his head this much.

mood's a lot better today; girlfriends are still the best friends anyone can have.

sort out my thoughts today, being happy is still the most important, and seeing my friends smile makes me happy, whether we would be as close as we were before in the near future i really don't know... but right now, i just want them to know,

whatever will be, will be &from the bottom of my heart i hope they would find happiness and joy.

the simplest pleasures of life makes me happy;

like a baby girl, a daisy, a wad of cash, a hug, fresh sheets with a hint of sunshine, listening to my flashfetish's play list.HURHUR.

being alone is just something you have to get use to; once you're in the momentum it's not that difficult(:

been thinking about my dream home; after watching the 9pm drama series on channel 8 on one episode.

my dream home kinda already looks alot like my room.haha.just that i've been too lazy to decorate my red wall; been wanting to paint the life size shadow of a ballerina but haven't gotten round it yet.soon soon.then i'll post it up.

anyways, my dream home doesn't have to be very big.but it must have a balcony.

in that balcony i would put up a white swing and i would place a round coffee table,

on my swing i would have throw overs and cushions where the cushion covers are sewn by me,

and on that coffee table would be a glass vase with pink, yellow, red or white daisies depending on my mood that day.i would have my novels and a warm cup of tea.my dogs would be snuggling next to my feet, quiet as a mouse.

my bedroom would have a day bed, and every morning i would wake up with sunshine shining on my face, and with warm winds.

after i get off my bed i would go to my kitchen and see the one i love cooking me scramble eggs and bacon and i would give him a hug and a peck on his check with my smelly breathe.what a pretty sight(:

like death, love will come

2008-05-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

the tagboard is not fitting my new skin): boo!

love it a lot, the header's edited; obviously

so no where for shout outs, anyway.doesn't matter much.

nobody ever does anyway.

anyhoo.i ate a lot today;

i ate bread from lavender, malaysia's bakery which is like super good, then i ate chu chang fen,then durian,then redeemed my free cheesecake from mr.tan weihong.he owe me, and i owe him 19 more.which is like damn it! then came home for dinner.i love my grandma's food.

they said im quiet today, all i can say is; actions speaks louder than words.

feel that we're all drifting apart, well maybe them from me...

i start to realise nothing lasts forever.
rainbows get covered by the clouds and shit happens.
friends start to lose contact with you, husband decides to run away with a uglier woman, you stop being believing in dreams, love&hope are mere words that you see on decor during christmas.go ahead, you can be like me, and die trying to get every fucking thing you ever wanted, but will never have.throw a tantrum it might work.well,don't say i didn't warn you.

no matter how much i hate it, im suppose to grow up and move on.

it's a hard and fast fact i suppose.

now my plans are completed within 3 words; work to death.

2008-05-12T00:33:00.000-07:00

"your heart by now is filled with a feeling you can't explain..' - Joanna wang/ stages of flying(:

2008-05-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

SIGH.
2 more papers!1 graduation project.
im so done with school, well at least for this year.
im happy selling hot dogs at ikea, its peanuts pay but it's better than nothing.
but my working hours doesn't please mama very much.
it's the "peak" hour at home at everyone is cleaning up&getting ready for bed.
since, im just left with my graduation project i can probably get a better paid office job.and weekends off!(:hurhur.
have to get my cover letter&resume ready, then mass sending.hahaha.
just have to finish up my 3 months commitment, which means selling hot dogs til july.

went to the maid agency at bukit timah shopping centre earlier today, yay!finally chose a maid.no qualms about her, did a phone interview with her.she seemed enthusiastic, and happy, haha.
hope she would enjoy doing her job at my place, just want everyone around me to always be happy.
but, she called me agnes.haha.bitch

i miss my friends a lot!haven't been seeing them that regularly recently):
they better miss me too.
hope we'll never drift apart.

loves.

yeah i know im obsessed with joanna wang.PROBLEM?!?

2008-05-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

the best mistake I've ever made- Joanna wang

One step too far
All at once I'm falling
Just like a star
I'm burning for you
Thought I could keep myself from feeling this way
I guess that was my first mistake

Cause suddenly I'm walking'
Down a dark street to your door
Wanting you is driving' me insane
And now my feet are standing
Where they've never stood before
Guided by a twist of fate

If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right
I won't be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You'd be the best mistake I ever made

I'm in your room
Now there's no denying'
What's in your eyes
When I look at you
Two shadows talking' but they don't make a sound
Words have lost their meaning now

And the air has turned electric
Now I know the time is right
To put myself into your hands
And suddenly I'm shaking'
As your fingers touch my skin
I don't need to understand

But If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or rightI won't be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You'd be the best mistake I ever made
And if tomorrow proves me wrong
I swear I don't belong
I know I'll carry on

So I will lose myself and bare my soul
Take this chance cause heaven knows
I'm so far gone, my choice is made

And even if my heart should break
When I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tightWrong or right
I'll always say
You're the best mistake I ever made
You're the best mistake I ever made
You're the best mistake I ever made

2008-05-10T01:26:00.000-07:00

watched iron man today.
i think the way iron man takes off is kinda sissy; and he wears 2 inch red heels.

i laughed a lot today.my cheeks are sore.
because... LAH!):
i did it without any expectation nor hope; i did it without intention.
i did it cos its novelty, and it would make you think about me for a bit.i hate to admit this, but i will.
&because you might think its fun/funny.because the fun v is the only v you want to hop on to.
im glad i made you smile today.
i wish you would didn't ask what you already know, beacause you know i won't say it out loud anyway.
but hey,
you said it; its a good thing, that it didn't mean anything else.
there, im done.
i've done more than enough.
anastacia zakaria zhu hui is done being silly, stubborn, immature.
chapter closed.

i've thought about many things today.
happy posts please!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
世界末日 - 周杰倫

(chorus)
天灰灰会不会
让我忘了你是谁
夜越黑梦违背难追难回味
我的世界将被摧毁也许事与愿违
累不累睡不睡单影无人相依偎
夜越黑梦违背难追难回味
我的世界将被摧毁
也许颓废也是 ~ 另一种美

OMFG

2008-05-09T15:28:00.000-07:00

i saw li teng when i was walking out of school and he walked into my school!
WAAAAAHHHH.so cute!celeb in my school!((:

my best mistake

2008-05-08T01:18:00.000-07:00

my dear.

there are so many things i would like to say to you, so many things i would like to ask you, i know i would be hearing the answers that i already know before i even stumble the words out of my mouth,but just in case... you know.
; as much as i like to be able to say goodbye to my own little world of make believe.there's a part of me that still tries, neither do i know why, its probably because i just wanted to be sure.
the whole of today ached a little.i frowned a little.

the garden is pretty, you would see.
whilst drawing each petal and each stalk, i tried hard to stop giggling stupidly and awkwardly.
because i had no rhyme nor reason to be laughing so hard or to be so happy for.
imagination drives you insane.
at least it keeps you alive.
this last shot;my last shot really don't seem like it might work wonders.
i'm not sure what i would get, but i know it would make you smile.
i might linger for a few in your sea of thoughts, but things have taken a turn, hasn't it?(:
i scared you off a bit, did i?
i warned you; in a way.
you only said:"what if you succeed?"

no more nas.
after this,no more.
you're done being ):

2008-05-06T01:48:00.000-07:00

fell really sick on sunday, didn't make it to work on monday, where i was supposedly taking over bridgette who took over me on sunday.anyhoo,TGFEric (who ot-ed cause i could'nt make it.)

hoho! XD

went to the doctor on monday, and he said i had gastric flu.i didn't know my stomach was so weak.i think its just some bad bacteria.

well, alot alot better now.hardly ever fall so sick really.im alright now just got to complete my probiotics and antibiotics, to get my spanking good immune system back and running(: im good im good.

my medicine.and what daisy&xiaohong would do if to the medicine if they ever end up in imh.

no you don't understand.

HAHA.

2008-05-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

(:

damn tired.. skin getting from bad to worse going to buang soon LAH.going to just sleep with the hydrating mask.heee

worked from 5 to 1130 today.longest time i ever worked in ikea, from the 1st of may to the 4th of may is promotion period so when sales target is met, got incentives for part timers.YAY i hope im entitled but not very sure whether i am cos i can only work twice a week cos of the coming exams.which suck.

HAHA.

luckily jnb is not that difficult.

at work today, bert baobei and weihong honey came to buy hotdogs THEN ice cream.haha(:

love em alot!when i see em i will just smile(:

honey gave me a lollipop.hee(: which i have no idea how to pose with.haha

a LAOJI shot of the lolly and me with my webcam haha.

friday went by really quickly, woke up at 10 then about 11 plus stef baobei and lynn mama came to my place to study a bit.then i had to go off to work already.

ps:
lynn mama, you gotta be strong especially for now!i'll be here when you need me, i love you!

2008-05-02T02:00:00.000-07:00

shrugs, been feeling really moody these few days.
i think i lack a lot of sleep
&everything/everyone around me seem to embark on a route, different from mine.
suddenly strange and awkward.
im alone, again.
don't tell me im not alone,cos i fucking am.
suddenly feel like i cannot not go out without a tint of make up on my face, which really sucks.

its no longer what if i, its becoming i might.

2008-04-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

how are you blog?(:

haha.i haven't blogged for the longest time!and after i went to read my friends' blogs i suddenly had the urge to blog.don't want this blog to be dead.

its like a growing process the first half of 2008

i've grown quite a bit, emotionally.tough, but once the going gets tough, the tough gets going!right?

hurhur.

im still a kid inside, sometimes i need my girls to decide for me.cos im a kid lah bitch.

i know what's good for me, but i think with my backside.hehe.

last week was the last week of diploma in mass comm at mdis!

ohmygod.typing this makes me wanna cry.i will miss dmcd1 0742A.

i've got a secret plan i cannot share, until i succeed.

watch this space bitches!(:

2008-04-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

off day.
SUCKED

我的寶貝,要你知道你最美

2008-04-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

16.04.08 we are pretty, not cutie :D

16.04.08 my private k session with xiao zhu (^(oo)^)v

16.04.08 k-ing 2 xin jin zhong de ren, happy!(:

16.04.08 2nd day at work; inside locker room.
the uniform is not biang!before adding the apron&cap =x

16.04.08

yesterday mood was really really very bad.but im still all smiles cos i didn't want to be grumpy and spoil everybody's mood.then suddenly stef bb said she felt like k-ing and i did too.so i called bert bb immediately and within like 45 minutes we're at cine's kbox.haha it was like jie lun's concert at first, every song is like damn emotional; especially hei se you mo, but than when i sang fan fan's mei na me ai ta i totally straighten out my thoughts, which is a good thing really!i made a few drastic changes after that.i think im slowing getting over it, re-constructing my mindset.all i need now is my buddies to get my back, to catch me when im falling or it will just be a vicious cycle.

so nice to be able to lie on bert's shoulder, and feel like:"old friend, you understand me the best."

yesterday really felt very sucky, so teared up a bit but i didn't brawl.cannot brawl my mascara and eyeliner will run.and i think my darlings will be freaked out.haha(:

i thought i was late for work yesterday.but actually it was my clock that was fast.haha(: my watch is set five minutes faster than ikea's clock.so phew!=x

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today's my first off day!(:

and yesterday's my 2nd day at work.im a hotdog girl at ikea cafe.and my tag line is:

HI, CAN I HAVE YOUR RECIEPT PLEASE?

work is alright, its quite brainless.haha

but on the 23rd or some date around that week i'll be going up to restaurant.
like they said im restaurant de ren.but they say i'll be asking for a transfer back to the cafe in a week.so taoyan.they make it sound like restaurant is hell.

whatever.

i haven't tried anyway.i think it will be alright.

on the 1st day at work, i met nelson.

then, yesterday jung moo came and say hi.haha

then i saw mr kenny!(: so happy.

but on my off day no one is free to go out and play with me, sigh.

since ma don't need my help to feed the strays im free.somebody call me text me something, save me from myself.im bored!

except i have to do one last document for TVRP.simple one.which i can do at night(:

stef&big bad baobei bert is busy,

stef baobei busy making a birthday card for xiao bai(: very sweet.very long never do this kind of stuff, really very happy while in the progress of making it.

for my next boyfriend, im going to make a lot of handicrafts,going to bake a lot, cook a lot.

spoil him like crazy(: haha.

i really have the da jie character, like to take care of people.haha okay LAH.

i got auntie heart):

bertbert got school+rubgy training.

so no one soul can keep me company.damn it.

i think i will just sleep my off day away, so wasted.

waiting for saturday to come!going to watch my daughter's movie(:

moving on.

2008-04-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Gonna go to work at Ikea Cafe today at 4pm.
Hope all the aunties are nice, cos i like aunties and they like to tell stories.haha(:
classes with pahman is like wtf, seriously.you can see sana singh literally bootlicking him.
i don't think i heard a word he said in class today, im so done with the assignments.
so done and over with!YAY!(:

they say i need to make up my mind.
yeah i think i already did last night, thank you all for being so honest.
even though i seem confused.but im alright.
im a happy person(:
it was like;
deep cut to the throat, hurt like hell even though im not suppose to feel this way.
i think its for real this time, i tried alot times before.
I need more than this, and what jayne love told me was right.it's not my loss anyway.
please my girls,stop me if im doing it all over again.
like ah juju says; don't give chance.direct shoot.simple.
it probably mean i have to lose you along the way.but its good for me, i know.

2008-04-13T23:49:00.000-07:00

I think I secured the job at Queensway's Ikea
Just need Melvin the cafe's manager to confirm my position and my starting date on monday(:
back to working after such a long break, feels good to always have extra cash, to pay my own bill and pay for the kittens' boarding.i probably won't be left with much.but whatever that is left, is
additional to what mama gives me(:

today ~~bff~~bert text me, and told me he placed the mahjong tile back and that he still loves me.
im like, how comforted, really.it means a lot a lot to me.He will never know how it feels to get back what you had but different.
even though, i know it will never be the same again.
you've found another one to share your fun, joy and laughter.I know its not a replacement, but it sucks for me to see it unfold in front of me, with your silly explainations that doesn't make sense.
i still love you.

2008-04-12T01:41:00.000-07:00

Had a very bad weekend this week.
haven't had such a heated quarrel with my mama for such a long time.
I know its partly my fault.I know I should know better than that to choose to go out at such a time.But the way she shout at me and with the words that she chooses to use is not very nice.
its as worse as the vulgarites that i use but in a refined manner.sigh.
once on friday night, once on saturday morning.
today i sort of did it on purpose, went out the whole day, surprisingly she really meant what she said, she say i can do whatever i want, and she doesn't and would not care.but i don't want to and will not push the limits.i still respect her because of her role.
she asked me to go to hell this morning before i went out.like the way she asked daddy to.i didn't even want to give a come back to what she said cos simply it would'nt matter since she's so fixed on the judgement she choose to pass, by the entries of this blog she happen to bump into. which is sad.cos no matter how much inner turmoil i struggle with, im generally a happy person, neither do i put off the responsibilites i have to fufil, my friends are good people, they're just different, but for now, they make up my moments of escapism.they make me happy even if for a while.
i need my rest, i understand she needs it too.i just need someone to stand in for me so i can take a break.and escape.once a week at least can?she can take her time out too, i think we just need a communication system and more give and take.
i find it so hard to tell her all this.or to even apologise, i hope i can text her on monday and apologise or something.i don't want to be childish and run over the limits, i want to prove to her im the same person i was and i don't mind helping her.because i understand.
i just hope she speaks nicely to the people around her before she starts judging the way they speak.
i don't think im a bad person.
im 19.i still want to experience love and life to the max.

Moving on, will be going for a interview tomorrow at ikea.i hope i get the job, since it's near my place.I need the cash anyway, to pay off debts and other stuff i want to get for myself.

Hope i'll have a happy entry the next time i blog.

day 3

2008-04-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

YOU CONFUSE ME.

day 2

2008-04-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

gonna blog about the longest sunday ever(:

woke up at 8am to meet up with the others at 11am to finish part b of tvrp assignment.

we did a renactment of machi's music video- machi.

the location was at queenstown and margaret drive.

and only wrapped up at like 6 plus 7?yeah.

we did like 964972964 takes of every single scene cos every single scene we would crack some stupid joke or laugh or something.

very sweet of huneee, bert and lau da to help us out with the filming, you guys make really good actors.being enthu is like winning half of the battle already(: THANK YOU!

anyway, acting is inborn in bert.so HAHA he was glad he can help and also conveniently stole the show haha.it was really fun but very very tiring.and we were damn stink at the end of the day.everyone's expression was like SIAN.you can say almost expressionless.haha.

i was a boy for a day.boys are like boring as hell.i kissed stefy in the mv.haha go eat your heart out bitches.bert says im disgusting.well, whatever.

today's day 2.

only starting to feel worse and more grumpy.uneasy, uncomfortable like something's missing.

they all say i don't know what i want.i know what i want, but i can't have what i want.And its too risky to fight for what i want.you know what i mean?sigh.

i even press the keyboard's keys faster so not to see our pictures.the more i look at them, the more they confuse me.but im going to stay focused on my agenda.simply cos its good for me

went to class today, didn't even take down a single word from the board the lecturer is seriously pissing off everyone cos he only cares for ~~sana~~ singh.so we're better off doing our own shit.which we did.hoho

we watched our mv like 5 times.somehow today went fairly quickly.

im really unhappy today.its the second time in half a year):

i hope i can say im okay and mean it soon.

i don't need a man to make it happen.

ouch,im sore.

HAHA(:

just for laughs:ppjy combo.

today is day 1.

2008-04-07T00:50:00.000-07:00

i gave it 2 days thought,after discussion and reassurance.
i've decided.
okay!im giving up on you!(:
and not because you're not good, you're very good.
because it's simply not going anywhere.
and because i'm your friend.

im not okay, i know.but i've decided so YEAH.
4 days.im loveless again(:
make me fall in love with you!haha.

today is such a long long day.i'll blog about it tomorrow cos i miss blogging(:

2008-04-05T01:13:00.000-07:00

hello april(:
i miss blogging a lot.
i hope i come home with a workable charger tomorrow then i'll be able to use back my own laptop(:
okay toodles.

2008-03-29T01:14:00.000-07:00

i am a oyster.

i got a daisy today, i ate a bitter slice of orange, i ate cheesecake.

i haven't gotten a flower for forever.

my favourite flower for now is;daisy

makes me happy(:

i lost my usb wire for my sony!so i can't upload the photo.the daisy is like how cute!

but its stem kinda like broke into 2, cos my stupid dog was too friggin excited to see me.

so i dumped it.but i loved it(:

you share the same name with my dog.

2008-03-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

obviously its evitable to camwhore with someone you have a thing for.

i can't wait to say, im so over it.
because for now.
im still so not.

its been like 6 days since saturday and im still grumpy still, a little, but im going to be fine.
i know it.
you know why?cos its allowance day tomorrow!

money is king; as proudly quoted by ahem ~~BFF~~.
it probably really is.and without money you supposedly can't get married, and then no one would get their daughter's protrait inked.
you're like how cute!(:

compressing zoo's photos into a zipped file, which is like taking forever cos all the files are like 1000 plus kb.haha i think on that day we probably took like 200 over photos.the amount gives the status, mother of camwhores.ho of hoes.hahaha.
zipping it for gou gou.who i just realised called me a spoiler drunkard in his past entry.bitch!
i didn't for it to happen, i just kept losing what!hahaha.

anyhoo,
i slept at like 4am.and dragged up my ass up at 830am to go to school for recording which was damn nerve wrecking.it sucked a bit cos uncle lim says im mumbling.which i swear i didn't.
i even thought i sounded too fake cos i pronounced every single syllable.but whatever.its done and im over it.so like one part of assignment down.3 more to go!
i miss school again.
i never do homework when im in JTSS):
this sucks.
after recording, came home.idled for like forever, watched an epi of tai chi master on crunchy roll.its getting boring.and i think myolie wu is a very bad actress.either that or thats her persona in the series.but i think its probably her.went to nap and then idled some more, went to walk en and linds and thats probably about it.my life.okaay, what life?!?

tomorrow is advertising class.im like damn lazy to go.haha
i pon wednesday's class.so i can't pon anymore.
i don't want to be boycotted.
even though i know that will never happen
cos i've got no b.o and i don't tei-ar(?)hurhur.

lao ji weihong lost his keys.its not in all of my bags.
if it was then good,
i hope he finds it.
im like queen of the missing keys, i lose like one set every year.
i hate it when mama shows me the black face when i tell her i lose keys cos she's going to say:"good, let the robbers come in and have fun."
which is a good way to make anyone pissy.

bloody hell.its still compressing.
im like mabok already.

2008-03-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

CB CAT PEE ON MY BED!NOW MY MATTRESS SMELLS LIKE CAT PISS!

2008-03-25T01:22:00.000-07:00

):

went to k with jie xin today, thought i would feel better.

instead i felt worse.

i sang sibeh emotional songs, and that's probably the reason why.

though it was good being able to tell her everything, every single thing with holding back cos i know she won't judge me.

feeling really lousy.

lousy lousy lousy.

small stuffs like that amounts and snowball along with the thoughts you cannot control, and it will create the most dramatic ripples.

i think ~~bff~~ was right all along, i should open my eyes BIG BIG and see who is the person really is before i go on to love.
never listen.sigh
all the effort, the feelings, the anticipating of getting something of it.
now is getting of nothing from nothing, the something was what i imagined it to be.
its all me.
nothing to give up actually.i just have to stop doing what im doing.
peng you bi qing ren hai si xin ta di.right?

the only highlight today is ~~bff~~ talk to me less fierce.very happy.
but he still never give chance
i can only keep hoping.

2008-03-24T01:23:00.000-07:00

bbq is not worth mentioning.
what i want to say, can't be said here anyway.

♥

2008-03-21T15:27:00.000-07:00

shalom!
blessed good friday!(:

on this particular friday.it is very the boring.
suppose to go xiao qiang house and play like now, but mama had to nag nag nag at me.
mama:" tomorrow you're going be out the whole day already, you still want to go out today.go and do your work go clean the cat litter go keep your slipper later people steal.blah blah blah.
me: "tskkk", (under breathe), "orh orh orh."
thats why im at home now.
so since its a public holiday and everyone is out.
i shall make her day and be her good daughter.
i think we're going vivo for dinner or something even though im damn broke.
haha my grandma was saying: " ah na bu yao chu men de la, ta dou mei you qian liao."
then mama said: " shua ka lor."
wah happy!got chance buy new clothes.
haha i think she's in high spirits or something or she just got enough sleep.
i hope its a lucky day for meeee.haha

woke up at an alarming 8:30am today.
i don't even know why i woke up so early for, i think it was the stupid dogs barking at me for one reason or another.
but they're alot better now cos they're free to roam around the house, so they bark lesser cos they're not as excited to be out of the play pan like they use to be.even though they still go too close to the cats sometimes but i think the lot are getting use to this two bitches.
which is goooood!
than brought them to pet lover's centre for grooming.linds look very ugly now.she looks like she went through extreme dieting.
en still looks the same.i think they cheat our money.cos en doesn't look like she even went to the groomers.i think maybe cos nobody brings jack russels for grooming.haha =x

talked to her today):
she was so.. sigh.different?
so cold.
maybe she's really busy with many many things going on in her life.
nothing lasts forever?
money doesn't.so probably and definitely not love, friendship, peace or happiness?
i really don't want to believe this.
maybe its obligation when we say we want to meet up.i really do want to meet up.
even for a simple meal where we can just update each other about our lives, which is so different now.
i still remember how much i felt her love for me, when i saw her crying because she saw me so upset over my o level results.
she didn't want to see me sad or unhappy.
seeing me this way didn't make her happy too.
what happened along the way?
really just want to see her and give her a big big hug and make her promise me that this friendship will never ever fade away.
im so easily affected by the people around me, especially those i love):
i don't want to lose you.
i really wish you can come tomorrow.sigh

moving on.
1 more day to bbq, damn hyped!
trust me.there will be a shit load of photos(:
nothing makes me happier than having fun with people i love!(:

i got two smelly dogs.

2008-03-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

pon half of class again!(:
i really don't enjoy listening to sivam's lecture.but very therapeutic makes you relax until you fall asleep.hahaha
anyway school assignment due dates are all very close together.so quite a lot of things i have to get started with!SIAN.im starting on sivam's one soon.like right after this, then there's still the tv script to do and many other things, just very very packed.
but anyway, there's only 2 individual projects.both which is friggin boring.like what! watch news and read newspaper for one week than write how you can improve them.NEWS okay.not entertainment news..not yu le bai fen bai!haha(:
i miss discussing about bai fen bai with xin and bert in school.haha we use to rush home to watch almost every single day.damn fun.both of you are dearly missed by me!):
really really miss secondary school life.so care free,so happy pay school fees to go school and play.i really don't know how many million times i must emphasize about how much i miss jtss.haha but more than that i miss the people!and im glad most of them are still in my life, cos without any one of them it would be totally different!

think this is going to be a super long post.haha
yesterday was a happy day, but at the same time a fucked up day.
its fucked up as in knn cb fucked up type.can't understand why i care so much either, or probably im just damn sensitive.too much inhibted fears of doing too much and doing too little saying too much or not even saying anything at all,probably?i guess): you've gotten the upper hand, now you can gladly walk all over me.i don't mind.do anything.i won't rebuke you or stop you.cos i can't.i don't know why too.its all my fault its all my fault.is it?):
luckily the feeling went away quickly cos of all the love and support and encouragement from all 3 of them.thank you y'all!you're loved loved loved!they're like positive until they need to admit themselves inside imh.
you also.little things you say make me smile even though they may mean nothing to you, but they mean alot to me.
listening to jay chou sing tian tian de helps also.always makes me feel happy which leaves me smiling alot(: i think im in the club.hahaha!

counting down to the days to saturday!(: its going to be a blast.
the only time to unwind and just play.its been awhile!
my dear meng tsun!
baobei it would have even more fun with you!
but i can tell how much he means to you, and how much you care for him.
to the extent of even flying back to talk things out with him.
i understand your pain.i know how xin ku it is for you.
wo dong,wo duo dong.
don't give up without a fight!don't lose him.you must jia you jia you jia you!
he better be worth the $1000/-! haha
going to order the food tomorrow!omg!this is so exciting.
we're going to play catching in west coast park.HAHAHA(:

im still happy.
i must not be affected!
i must stay strong,
and smile smile smile
yi ding yao jia you wor.(OMG JU!HAHAHAHA)

i think this is what they call; bliss(:

bliss /blɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[blis] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.
supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment: wedded bliss.
2.
Theology. the joy of heaven.
3.
heaven; paradise: the road to eternal bliss.
4.
Archaic. a cause of great joy or happiness. —Idiom
5.
Slang. bliss out,
a.
to experience bliss or euphoria: Just give them some bean sprouts and a little tofu and they bliss out.
b.
to cause to become blissful or euphoric: a recording guaranteed to bliss out every Mozart fan.

2008-03-18T19:22:00.000-07:00

i missed you more than a bit(:

monday sucks

2008-03-17T23:52:00.000-07:00

i love sunny days.and the smell of sunshine on my bedsheets and pillow case(:
makes me very happy!haha

very excited for this saturday's bbq, first time organising too!haha(: so really just feeling my way around this whole thing.im like over-seeing everything.but its whats exciting i think im like the most excited out of everyone.haha
the pit's at west coast park, drop by to steal our food if you want okay!
really hope everyone can come!its all night anyway.it will surely be a blast!no valid reason not to turn up anyway.hmm.

super tired today.i didn't even do anything.haha i slept almost directly after i reach home from school.haha.and the stupid ass dogs bite apart the ONLY ADAPTOR left in the house for the frikkin laptop.and now im damn scared to use my laptop.cos the battery life is only half!and if never buy the adaptor asap than i cannot use anymore and some more assignment due soon!mama say she's not going to pay for another one cos its my fault that i leave my things around but its so not in the dogs way!they take out to play themself):
stupid dogs.

my room looks like a kindergarten.

2008-03-16T17:24:00.000-07:00

how long is this cold war between us going to last?i'm really sick of it, and i think i've done enough to show you how much our friendship means to me and how much i want things to go back the way the were before.
the feeling just really sucks.
and i thought you understand me the best?
the more i try to explain to you, the more the misunderstanding deepens, the more i try to stop figuring out what happened, the more guilty i make myself feel probably for things i did&did not do, the more i try to stop thinking about it, the more i do, the more i try to move on the more i find myself spinning in circles.
i can say you're childish, you're petty, you're annoying, you're ugly, you're not funny, you're revengful.
you know i don't mean it.
cos you're still my best friend.
i don't think its ever going to be any better, in a loooooooooooooooooong time.
i don't want us to become acquaintances.
take your time friend, im ready when you are.

airhead

2008-03-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

): tamade!
never pass skin check, cannot be SIA GIRL anymore!haha.
think its cos of my scars on my lower arm, near the wrist.they're like quite dark actually, i scald myself at my last job at the bakery.but i really really loved working there.so it sorta didn't matter much than.haha.
and the kebaya is like 3/4 sleeve so yeah.
that means i never got to round 2!haha.
but anyhoo.surprisingly wasn't as upset as i expected myself to be.
study lor.
now i need a part time job.really im damn frikking broke.i've got 3 dollars left to my name.
i want to work!

asswipe.

2008-03-15T01:46:00.000-07:00

曲：周杰倫
詞：方文山　
OPENING OS:巨炮:哎唷!小朋友...你這是...你這是玩這什麼東西啊?
jay:扯鈴呀...
巨炮:扯鈴?
jay:嗯...
巨炮:怎麼聲音好像不大對呀?
jay:什麼聲音?
巨炮:我說你講話的聲音啊...
兩人：呵呵呵...

天气冷的让人生闷气
火气我沮丧的很生气
空气太糟需要有氧气
太多假义气一想就气
敲门敲敲门
基本礼貌叩要先问
离开也不随手关灯
生活习惯真有够混
敲门敲敲门
简单动作叩也不等
你看来虽不像坏蛋
但做事做人却很蠢
你像一团沼气
影响我的士气损我的英气
又那么神气
说话的语气败坏了风气
我不想为你为你白花了力气
那么会扯去扯铃
扯多你就会上瘾
扯你最善变的表情
我的解释请你务必要听
那么会扯去扯铃
却扯不出个命运
扯你最善变的表情
嘿你这样说我有一点伤心
不停犯错不停推拖
养了一堆籍口等它成熟
前一秒说是朋友后一秒诬赖我
别再跟我哈啦我不是个傻瓜
说谎就要付出代价
是应有的惩罚
别再跟我哈啦你被当成笑话
自己造成的那尴尬我也没有办法

ENDING OS:
巨炮:呵...瞎扯...這個...

this is like the theme song; when i heard what stef said to me, about what he said about me.
it fits perfectly.

cranberries in a box.

2008-03-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

i really don't like rainy days at all.
its sucks like shit!): spoiler shit!so wet and gloomy.
this whole week has been raining like non-stop.damn it!
im sitting on my bed eating expired craisins.dried cranberries which i never eat.
but just had to sudden urge to.it taste like grapes.haha
yeah yeah i know anti oxidants good for me!(:
i think im damn good.i slept for less than 5 hours before heading to school and im still awake now.
im so going to nap i tell you.i can feel a headache coming up.

3 more days to SIA walk-in interview at sheraton hotel.
hurhur
not as hyped as when jayne just told me about it.was like damn exciting haha
maybe i would feel the butterflies fluttering back on sunday morning.
going with ah ju(:
if i get through like every single round;
im so going home to burn my books.
i never want to study again.
bo sim already.
if not):
than do i have a choice?get the fucking degree and please her.
damn it lah.HAHAHHAHA my heart flying away with SQ.okay cheesy!

i like fair boys.i don't know why they look clean.
okay good night.

fierce 屁!

2008-03-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:
happy happy happy!
even though .. not very nice to meeeeeee
i can't believe im so easily contented(:

2008-03-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

wish list(:
1. agnes b bracelet

2. t-shirts

3. day dresses

4. agnes b purse!

5. sashimi

6. saba fish makes me happy

7. that it could stop raining

8. shortssssssssss

9. that i will never have to study again

10. to be happy every single day(:

2008-03-11T01:05:00.000-07:00

anyhoo.
let me blog like normally so nobody would think im going to commit suicide like ivan said.haha
i watched rule #1 today with weihong
nice!kelvin tong's horror movies not bad, except the one where it starred michelle chia's boyfriend whatshisname?haha(:
i haven't watched horror movies in a long long time.just yeah.still my favourite genre(:
pay money to scare myself.hobby can?
weihong is very sweet haha(:
him:you kai xin yi dian ma?
me: you ba.
him: na jiu hao.
(:

the home phone rang, picked up.honeymooner called.obviously sobbing, i just want to give him a kick in the face honestly.
the joy/pain of letting someone cry over you makes you just want to love him more and more and more.
than it only goes downhill from there.
why am i so realistic?

i want to be a boy

2008-03-10T23:34:00.000-07:00

fuck
i really really hate this feeling inside me:(
really don't know what caused it either
DAMN EMO!
i never feel this way ever, well not in the recent years anyway
i don't think i can look sad outside, like how?it doesn't sound very logical.but i really don't think i can.to everyone and even me, im like a happy happy person.i want the people around me to be happy too(: i think all of them are.
so its a little fucked up that i feel this way
anyway im alone doesn't matter, doesn't affect anyone
so i can just die off inside and nobody cares
i feel like eating maggi mee maybe that will make me happier

2008-03-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

i went out alone today.
i cannot believe i did.

2008-03-09T00:47:00.000-08:00

felt super lousy today.
tried to doll up to make myself feel better,before going out.
but only felt worse.
i was crimping my eyelashes then i just cried.
i don't know why too.

:(

2008-03-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

okay thats it im on a diet.starting monday

zoo landed.

2008-03-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

i just woke up and..

I AM DAMN FRIGGIN TIRED!:(

but yesterday was damn fun!took super alot of photos.

battled alot, lost terribly.but we didn't lose without af fight okay!haha.

im losing my voice even though i drank water before i went to ice cream land.

anyway am still super tired, like brain dead i don't want to move away from my bed.

zoo was really fun, but could have been better if everybody came/came back.really!

its all in the name of fun and games.we've all known each other for so long and definitely much more better than this(: like come on okay?

white tigers are like the most beautiful living breathing moving creature on earth.very very pretty.prettier than women.like you can stare at them and really observe them, they're that beautiful!white tiger is animal of the day.haha((:

anyways, gwen and tiong kiat is really sweet together(: really happy that tiong kiat has a girlfriend.don't know why but i feel like i see tiong kiat grow up.. haha.in my heart, he's always be a little boy..whose husband material!haha(: xin and me use to discuss and dissect who is husband material in class and he's always number 1 on our list.he's a nice boy, good for you gwen(:

okay you can say i don't understand.i don't understand as much as you do.

maybe i cannot stand it.cos i never felt it?haha.. i don't know really.just really felt like i've wasted 3 years of my life for nothing gained but anger,sadness and endless disappointments.now looking back, i just feel such release.i feel like my responsibility is fufiled.i know im not suppose to feel this way, but i was really tired and unhappy.the happy times only happened cos i wanted them to happen, you can say i had to do everything to make them happen for me.imagine a direct copycat for a birthday present, how happy would you feel?no heart at all right?shrugs.

i just want to stop taking care of everyone.and let someone take care of me instead.

stefanie says i need a older boyfriend.how can!everyone i know is about my age.

its a very confusing feeling.

a lot of times i need someone there but i don't need the commitment now.

a lot of times i see everyone being in pairs, and i secretly wished i had someone too.

but minus the arguments and petty fights.

the process is what matters, however it ends if you had put your heart in it and know very clearly the other person has as well.that's good enough.

i enjoy doing things for the people i love(: seeing them smile makes me smile.don't know why.haha

boyfriends are not found,

boyfriends just happen(:

school's out for today!

2008-03-06T07:32:00.000-08:00

friday no school!
yay!im going to the zoo in like 11 plus hours!(:
gonna take shitload a lot of pictures with probably everything that lives,moves or breathes.HAHA
fun fun fun.
planned this trip for the longest time, finally 7th march is here!
cannot contain this excitement.

I THINK, I JUST MIGHT WAKE UP CALL EVERYONE.hohoho.

on a rainy day.

2008-03-05T00:15:00.000-08:00

我知道你知道，但我不能说出来。
因为我知道, 如果我一说, 我们感情一定改变
and i don't want to risk it
i rather we stay stagnant at this stage, than lose you and lose this.
有你真好(:

你是我的幸福

2008-03-04T08:19:00.000-08:00

without you; i am nothing(:

was chatting with a dear friend on msn, use to have some rather rough patches with her.

but we're okay now.

she had some friendship woes, the worse kind.where all you can do is crash and burn, the kind where you are stuck in the middle, simply because there is nothing much there can be done to change the situation.

im lucky i have real friends that are always always there, even though i think im quickly losing one. :(

i realise friendship is the most important thing, after love.

im not talking about love love.im talking about love in general.

P.S: i will always love you.

2008-03-03T01:49:00.000-08:00

not feeling well today; feeling slightly fever-ish and nauseous.
not sleeping enough, every night busy chatting on msn.
mama threaten to take my laptop away and never return it,
honey say i must sleep at 9pm.like real.HAHA(:

its times like this when i need someone to give me a hug, someone to let me sa-jiao to, to be teng by someone, to let someone take care of me, for a change and just do nothing.
when i can stop being myself for awhile, just awhile.im happy (:

that's how easily contented i am.

okay.i have a inner cheena pok& a inner ah lian.haha

im 19(:

2008-03-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: red
Favorite Food: milk pan
Favorite Band: linkin park
Favorite Song: realise by colbie caillat
Favorite Movie: secret
Favorite Sport: shopping
Favorite Season: summer
Favorite Day Of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: strawberry cheesake from haagen daaz
Favorite time of the day: 2am

CURRENTS
Current Mood: Bored
Current Taste: saliva
Current Clothes: tee-shirt
Current Toenail Color: transparent(:
Current Time: 11:56pm
Current Surroundings: my room
Current Thoughts: how much i changed alot since 2006; i copied this from pinkjaggedpill(:
Current Hairstyle: luan hairstyle.haha
Current Weather: cool
7 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: jean low
First Enemy: i can't remember.
First Pet: maggie the rat.
First Crush: can't remember.joel?
First Music: the disney cd from macdonald's
First Car: still no car!
First Job: auntie jeeva's place

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: 4th jan 2007
Last Drink: expired apple juice
Last Car Ride: taxi counted?last saturday.
Last Sms Receive: today.8.44pm from jx
Last Cell phone call: nobody called today:(
Last CD: secret soundtrack
Last Girlfriend/Boyfriend: samuel teo yang hao.sucks.

6 HAVE YOU EVER
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your BestGuy/Girl Friends: YES.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: steal eraser from primary school bookshop counted?
Have You Ever gone Sky diving: i don't want!
Have You Ever gone Skinny Dipping: soon soon.
Have You Ever Been on TV: NEVER!
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You didn't know?: nonono.

5 THINGS
1 Thing You're Wearing: hairpin
1 Thing You've Done Today: pang sai
1 Thing You Can Hear Right Now: ka chua downstairs
1 Thing You Can't Live Without: money
1 Thing You Do in your spare time: go out and play!
4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN YESTERDAY
1. tiong kiat's place
2. James tan's veterinarian clinic
3. PAW
4. town(:

3 PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE
1. bert
2. honey
3. ah jie

2 CHOICES
1. black or White: black
2. Hot or Cold: hot

1 CRUSH
1.don't tell you.

HELLO WORLD!

2008-03-02T07:20:00.000-08:00

My public blog!(:
Suddenly had the urge to start bloging again; it's not like i ever stopped.But yeah, reading someone else's made me want to have one again, too.
You can read my private blog over at wordpress.But for every secret that you read, and if i charged any one of you at 10 bucks per secret. I'll become a millionaire faster than you say missisippi.
I use to blog alot at pinkjaggedpill, at blogspot too.the habit died off eventually the spamming the haters were all too much.too much to handle.too much gossip.been too honest too(: it was serious shit at pinkjaggedpill.i was an angst-filled girl.the last post was dated dec 31 2006! Haha.
Blogspot is still the best place to blog.very user friendly, wordpress is not bad either.

I don't want to rant today.cos.. i simply do not have much to rant about.i slept til 2pm!shiok.practically wasted half the day away. Then log in to friendster.friendster friendster everyone 1st degree 3rd degree (stalker i know) than ah ha!her blog site.read like it was a tabloid.juicy!

Made me realise, i'm was never wrong about him.