Saturday, April 12, 2008
Had a very bad weekend this week.
haven't had such a heated quarrel with my mama for such a long time.
I know its partly my fault.I know I should know better than that to choose to go out at such a time.But the way she shout at me and with the words that she chooses to use is not very nice.
its as worse as the vulgarites that i use but in a refined manner.sigh.
once on friday night, once on saturday morning.
today i sort of did it on purpose, went out the whole day, surprisingly she really meant what she said, she say i can do whatever i want, and she doesn't and would not care.but i don't want to and will not push the limits.i still respect her because of her role.
she asked me to go to hell this morning before i went out.like the way she asked daddy to.i didn't even want to give a come back to what she said cos simply it would'nt matter since she's so fixed on the judgement she choose to pass, by the entries of this blog she happen to bump into. which is sad.cos no matter how much inner turmoil i struggle with, im generally a happy person, neither do i put off the responsibilites i have to fufil, my friends are good people, they're just different, but for now, they make up my moments of escapism.they make me happy even if for a while.
i need my rest, i understand she needs it too.i just need someone to stand in for me so i can take a break.and escape.once a week at least can?she can take her time out too, i think we just need a communication system and more give and take.
i find it so hard to tell her all this.or to even apologise, i hope i can text her on monday and apologise or something.i don't want to be childish and run over the limits, i want to prove to her im the same person i was and i don't mind helping her.because i understand.
i just hope she speaks nicely to the people around her before she starts judging the way they speak.
i don't think im a bad person.
im 19.i still want to experience love and life to the max.
Moving on, will be going for a interview tomorrow at ikea.i hope i get the job, since it's near my place.I need the cash anyway, to pay off debts and other stuff i want to get for myself.
Hope i'll have a happy entry the next time i blog.
haven't had such a heated quarrel with my mama for such a long time.
I know its partly my fault.I know I should know better than that to choose to go out at such a time.But the way she shout at me and with the words that she chooses to use is not very nice.
its as worse as the vulgarites that i use but in a refined manner.sigh.
once on friday night, once on saturday morning.
today i sort of did it on purpose, went out the whole day, surprisingly she really meant what she said, she say i can do whatever i want, and she doesn't and would not care.but i don't want to and will not push the limits.i still respect her because of her role.
she asked me to go to hell this morning before i went out.like the way she asked daddy to.i didn't even want to give a come back to what she said cos simply it would'nt matter since she's so fixed on the judgement she choose to pass, by the entries of this blog she happen to bump into. which is sad.cos no matter how much inner turmoil i struggle with, im generally a happy person, neither do i put off the responsibilites i have to fufil, my friends are good people, they're just different, but for now, they make up my moments of escapism.they make me happy even if for a while.
i need my rest, i understand she needs it too.i just need someone to stand in for me so i can take a break.and escape.once a week at least can?she can take her time out too, i think we just need a communication system and more give and take.
i find it so hard to tell her all this.or to even apologise, i hope i can text her on monday and apologise or something.i don't want to be childish and run over the limits, i want to prove to her im the same person i was and i don't mind helping her.because i understand.
i just hope she speaks nicely to the people around her before she starts judging the way they speak.
i don't think im a bad person.
im 19.i still want to experience love and life to the max.
Moving on, will be going for a interview tomorrow at ikea.i hope i get the job, since it's near my place.I need the cash anyway, to pay off debts and other stuff i want to get for myself.
Hope i'll have a happy entry the next time i blog.
what we could have been, 1:41 AM.
